How to Incorporate Feminine Energy Into Your Life and Business
This blog post (or as I like to call it a mega blog post or a “mog”) covers a lot of ground on the feminine and the masculine. I provide an overview of what precisely I’m talking about when I say masculine or feminine (and what I’m not talking about). Additionally, I debunk some common misconceptions and answer some of your most burning questions. Finally, it wraps with 3 simple practices for life and business to bring in more feminine energy.
At a collective level, we’ve been trending toward a greater emphasis on feminine energy for quite some time now. You can see it in the softening and uprising of our language (i.e. manifest versus goal setting, vibe versus good/bad, sharing “big 3” astrology or human design types versus keeping your Myers Briggs or Enneagram professional settings only). In my personal life, I’ve been undoing my masculine conditioning for years now largely because the approach of only using my masculine and suppressing my feminine energy wasn’t working.
This article is in no way a call for “feminine energy only.” As a Libra rising, the most inner harmony to be found is in the balance of the two and knowing how to interplay between both energies. Regardless of gender identification, we all carry these energies within our souls. I will describe these as “two” represented by their opposites for educational purposes. However, I encourage you to see these as spectrums of energies and experiences. As soon as you are one, you must be the other as well. The more fluidity you can embrace across them, the deeper your engagement with both energies can be.
As I mentioned in the opening, we are conditioned that our masculine energy should be our primary energy and that is what makes us successful or not. It’s how the systems and structures around us are designed to operate, especially in the US. Everyone must “be the man” to make it in today’s society. We are the current model for productivity culture. Do more, have more, show you are more (even better if it’s more than someone else), repeat. This energetic imbalance is wreaking havoc on our minds, bodies, and spirits, but that’s another topic for another day…
It’s also important to clarify that masculine isn’t a replacement term for patriarchy, and feminine is not a replacement term for feminism. Masculine energy contributes to both patriarch and feminism, as does feminine energy, albeit in different capacities. The fact that “masculine energy” exists is not why women are burning out left and right; that stems from the patriarchy and other societal and cultural factors. Masculine energy is an inherent part of being human. The critical piece for both energy types is to know how to notice, hone in, and harness these energies within yourself. To me, they represent an intimately inward state that we must learn to be in co-creation with.
With this conditioning and social prevalence in mind, it’s important to highlight why people struggle to lean more into their feminine energy. In my work, I find that they don’t believe it’s possible (for fear of not being ‘successful’), and/or they don’t trust themselves or their feminine energy enough to do so and/or they can’t stand the discomfort of the feminine as they decondition. It may feel foreign, “other,” or “unsuccessful” at first because it contradicts what’s ingrained in our culture and society. This initial discomfort may signal that it “isn’t working,” but I encourage you to press on.
I want to go deeper about the discomfort piece. We’re in a moment of history where the tides are changing. Perhaps not as much in the corporate space as demonstrated in the 2023 Women in the Workplace study, with today’s C-suites still significantly deprived of women (women represent roughly 1 in 4 C-suite leaders, and women of color just 1 in 16...). But the number of women-owned businesses is trending up! The 2024 Impact of Women-Owned Businesses report) found that women-owned businesses make up 39.1% of all U.S. businesses – a 13.6% increase from 2019 to 2023. Given my own experience, my conversations that I have with women founders, and given that the mass narrative on how to run a successful business is still largely the concepts and theories of a masculine society, it’s pertinent that we learn to embrace and overcome this discomfort so that collectively we can write the new story on ensuring feminine energy has a home in the business arena.
When I witness myself or women finding discomfort in the feminine, especially in business, the automatic response is to jump back to the safety of the masculine: structure, metrics, this or that, hustle, grind, etc. We go back to what we know and are familiar with because it is safe.
This is my battle cry to all of us to stop that.
To stop going back to what is comfortable.
We and our future need us to rewrite this paradigm.
I have led rooms full of women through meditations, trainings, energy work, and coaching sessions who have experienced immense amounts of relief and tears flow when they witness a new way (their way) of operating. When that knowing cuts through the noise of the churn-and-burn dog-eat-dog world we live in, you can’t unknow it. It is often the spark of transformation.
If you are a leader, a business owner, creative, or a purpose-driven person, it’s time to start seeing that discomfort as a sign of success. We have to help each other flow into the new normal of a feminine energy-inspired and lead paradigm. Akin to the writing experience, that discomfort is part of the shitty first draft we’re writing. Intuition and flow have never been given such a spotlight before, so of course, we will stumble. We’re learning how to undo the masculine energy driven tendencies of life and business.
When you think your feminine energy is failing you, remember that it’s working and you are living history.
Now for some fun questions on incorporating your feminine energy to deepen the learning…
I’m wired for productivity, action, and results. Is it possible for me to be more in my feminine energy?
Yes. However, the better question is “What’s possible for me when I’m more in my feminine energy?” That is the big dream nature of feminine energy. Limitless opportunities are waiting to be born by you - are you giving them the time of day?
It’s a long undoing if you are entrenched in masculine energy. The to-do lists. The doing. The busy-ness of business. In a world where we’re recognized for our productivity, it’s up to you to decide to be the resistance. You can learn to recognize yourself when you choose something different.
What role does feminine energy play in sales and money-making?
Literally everything. This is a perfect example of why I said, “As soon as you are one, you must be the other as well”. You cannot make money unless you can receive money. You cannot provide a service unless you can receive a client’s invitation. You can't create from an authentic place if you don’t know what supports your alignment and flow. I recently read the full version of this quote: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness. - Oscar Wilde. Your imitation of the masculine in business is a mediocre version of yourself. Your greatness is dependent on feminine energy so that your authentic being can be born into existence, nurtured, and activated. I’ve long stood by this concept: “The question isn’t how did they do it? The question is how can I do that in my own way?”
How can feminine energy be a strength in masculine-dominated social circles and organizations?
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Gandhi. There has to be some risk in this evolution we are leading. You are going to have to do some things differently and set a new tone in the spaces you currently exist in. We can’t see a new way of operating without it first being demonstrated. Men have one of the strongest roles to play in this. As men tap into their feminine energy and bring that forward, the contrast will be even more obvious than if a woman does so. Men need the feminine uprising as much as the women do.
What about my soft girl era?
The soft girl era can be a good first step into having more feminine energy in your life. It’s a way of starting to rebalance the energies, by leaning more into the feminine and relieving yourself of so much masculine energy focus. So long as you aren’t treating it as a pass to avoid the masculine, I’m cool with it.
I love the sweet spot of balance between feminine and masculine energy. During my first spiritual awakening, my intuition sat me down in the feminine, and no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to get back to the comfort of my masculine ways, I couldn’t do it. I was feminine energy-trapped, and it was the most beautiful experience of my life. Not only was I able to appreciate the masculine in a new way, but also able to experience my feminine energy for really the first time in my life. What was my flow like, both creatively and physically? What happened when I allowed myself to receive financially, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually? Because I lived through having no choice but to be in my feminine, I’m a walking example of yes, it is possible, and yes, you can trust it to lead you to success.
If I step into my feminine, I will get laughed out of the office. What about feminine energy in an ‘old boys club’ model?
As an ex-corporate girly, I’m perhaps too biased to answer this question, and this has more to do with the patriarchy than masculine-feminine energy balancing, but here are a few thoughts. In my experience, some structures and masculine-energy-dominated spaces are impossible battles to take on because of the risk it puts YOU at, not because I don’t think progress can be made. Depleting yourself of either energy for long periods can be detrimental to your mind, body and spirit.
Also, what are you doing in spaces that do not support you fully showing up as your balanced self? Finally, if you are confident that battling in the ‘old boys club’ is your hill to die on, you’ll figure out a way to exist within that sphere. I recommend starting to attune your body to how the energies feel within you without the noise and influence of the exterior world. Perhaps there can be an aligned way for you to show up balanced and not be laughed out of the office. Like I said, we’re going to be the ones to rewrite this paradigm!
When leading a team, how do you lead through feminine energy vs being the foundation and decision-maker?
Leadership is one of the most feminine energy skills. There are a couple of things that come to mind for me. First, as a leader, much of your leadership happens before you are actively leading (your preparation (feminine), your vision (feminine), your care and thoughtfulness (feminine)). Effective leadership cannot operate without the feminine.
Secondly, being a decision-maker is also a feminine trait. Feminine energy decides; masculine energy does. For example, did you know the female egg chooses the right sperm to let in? It’s not about the fastest or who is doing ~the most~; it’s about who she decides to let in. (Read more on this here: https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/09/health/sperm-choice-female-eggs-wellness/index.html).
Lastly, this question leads to another question: how can I be in my feminine and be a strong leader? This is what is currently being written. This is what we are figuring out collectively. With that, no great change has ever happened without risk and resistance. It’s ultimately up to us to define what that inner balance of feminine and masculine energy looks like and feels aligned to us in order to change the narrative on the masculine energy majority.
So, how do you incorporate feminine energy into your life and business? Try these on for size:
Incorporating Feminine Energy into Your Life
Practice receiving time. It’s not meditation. It’s not journaling. It is simply sitting and being open to receive. It’s an energetically charged change to your stillness. Maybe you receive knowledge. Maybe you receive a vision or word. Maybe you receive nothing at all. The point is to practice receiving, or being open to what is coming to you, which is one of the most signature feminine energy elements.
Study your intuition. I often describe learning your unique type of intuition as learning the type of fabric it is. Is your intuition soft like velvet? Is your logical side dense like leather? How do you know when one or the other is moving through you? Start to learn more about your unique intuitive style in The Intuitive Leader Masterclass (you can sign up The Everme Vault). The more you understand your intuition’s voice above all other voices, the more likely you are to listen to, trust, and act upon it.
Regularly access your flow state. What do you lose track of time doing? What do you like to create? How do you incorporate deep, uninterrupted creative time into your day-to-day? Many clients find they are short on time, so I recommend simply starting with a Golden Hour. It is one week of uninterrupted time in your calendar that is non-negotiable personal time. To know the essence of your flow is to know when you’re not in the flow and then out of alignment.
Incorporating Feminine Energy into Your Business
Let intuition be your strategy. For once, set aside all of the jargon and metrics and structures and cadences and consistency plays, and let your intuition take the wheel. Need a new idea? Ask your intuition. Difficult client situation? Let your intuition show the way forward. Business stalling? Let intuition make a recommendation. “bUT wHaT AbOuT tHe [[insert thing you “should do” n business]]?” I hear you, but if your current way isn’t working either, why not give this a try?
Treat your business like a separate energetic entity with human design. Human design isn’t just for…humans. Your business has a birthday, doesn’t it? Pull up your business chart and understand what it's like and how it relates to you and your team.
Audit for alignment. Go through each piece of your business and ask your intuition where it came from. Is it from the heart? Is it something you’re telling yourself you “should” do? Anything that isn’t intuitively inspired should be up for discussion on either how to change it or when to sunset it. I did this recently with how my connection calls (single 1x1 sessions) were structured. I realized I only offered 1x1 sessions to offer a lower price point to prospects. It was an “old” pricing strategy that wasn’t in alignment with my values or energy. I’m in the business of transformation, not transaction.
Incorporating feminine energy into your life and business is possible with an intimate understanding of self and how these energies play off of and with one another. It is just as important to feel into these energies for yourself as it is to find a balance between them. The more open we can be to our natural energy, the greater alignment, flow, and ease will be available to all of us.